I WOULD CRY TOO... BUT IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY. SO I AM GOING TO MAKE MYSELF A MARGARITA. CHEERS!

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NOW I JUST EAT CAKE. NO WONDER I'M SO FAT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO BUY BOOZE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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GET OFF YOUR ASS, CALL THE PLASTIC SURGEON, AND MAKE US AN APPOINTMENT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

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THE BEAUTY SLEEP AIN'T GONNA CUT IT. IT'S TIME FOR BOTOX BIRTHDAY GIRL!

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BUT EVENTUALLY YOUR VAGINA WILL STILL DRY UP. HAPPY BIRTHDAY

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IT'S CALLED "OLD BROAD WHO USED TO BE HOT."

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I AM PRETTY SURE IT'S A DILDO. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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40 AIN'T THE NEW 30, 50 AIN'T FABULOUS, AND BOTOX AIN'T CHEAP.

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IT WAS ACCEPTABLE TO CHUG A WHOLE BOTTLE AND THEN PROJECTILE VOMIT ALL OVER YOUR ROOM. I MISS COLLEGE TOO. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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DON'T WORRY. NO ONE IS GOING TO NOTICE YOUR DOUBLE CHIN... NOW THAT YOUR BEARD IS GROWING IN.

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I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WOKE UP IN SOME DUDE'S CRIB TOPLESS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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SO DON'T EXPECT A COMMENT ABOUT YOUR SAGGING TITS, YOUR NEWLY SPROUTED GOATEE OR YOUR BAT WINGS IN THIS CARD.

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I WAS JUST PRIVATELY CELEBRATING YOUR BIRTHDAY. IT WAS AWESOME.

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I'M PLANNING ON HAVING MY FAVORITE DRINK. IT'S CALLED A LOT.

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BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT AIN'T FOX. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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BUT LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE TO GET SUPER DRUNK WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.

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