OH WAIT. WOOPSIE! THIS IS A THANK YOU CARD NOT A FUCK YOU CARD. MY BAD. YLM-28spread.png

OH WAIT. WOOPSIE! THIS IS A THANK YOU CARD NOT A FUCK YOU CARD. MY BAD.

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THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT TASTE SO GOOD WITH ORANGE JUICE. YLM-14spread.png

THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT TASTE SO GOOD WITH ORANGE JUICE.

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I'M THE QUEEN, BITCH! YLM-72spread.png

I'M THE QUEEN, BITCH!

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BECAUSE MY BALL BUSTING SKILLS ARE ON POINT! YLM-20spread.png

BECAUSE MY BALL BUSTING SKILLS ARE ON POINT!

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THEN COMES SLEEPING ON THE COUCH DREAMING OF WAYS TO "ACCIDENTALLY" MURDER YOUR SNORING HUSBAND. YLM-08spread.png

THEN COMES SLEEPING ON THE COUCH DREAMING OF WAYS TO "ACCIDENTALLY" MURDER YOUR SNORING HUSBAND.

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I WOULD CRY TOO... BUT IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY. SO I AM GOING TO MAKE MYSELF A MARGARITA. CHEERS! YLM-26spread.png

I WOULD CRY TOO... BUT IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY. SO I AM GOING TO MAKE MYSELF A MARGARITA. CHEERS!

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I'M GONNA TURN YOU INTO A FUCKING FROG! YLM-01spread.png

I'M GONNA TURN YOU INTO A FUCKING FROG!

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NOW I JUST EAT CAKE. NO WONDER I'M SO FAT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YLM-02spread.png

NOW I JUST EAT CAKE. NO WONDER I'M SO FAT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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NOW THAT YOU'RE DATING AGAIN, YOU HAVE TO SHAVE YOUR BUSH. YLM-64spread.png

NOW THAT YOU'RE DATING AGAIN, YOU HAVE TO SHAVE YOUR BUSH.

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BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO BUY BOOZE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YLM-59spread.png

BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO BUY BOOZE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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SPITTING IS DEFINITELY BETTER. JUST SAYIN' YLM-03spread.png

SPITTING IS DEFINITELY BETTER. JUST SAYIN'

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I SAY, "PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND TELL THEM ALL TO FUCK OFF." YLM-16spread.png

I SAY, "PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND TELL THEM ALL TO FUCK OFF."

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AND IT'S CHANEL BITCH. YLM-21spread.png

AND IT'S CHANEL BITCH.

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UNLESS OF COURSE...YOUR SISTER IS A BITCH. GOOD THING YOU HAVE ME! YLM-65spread.png

UNLESS OF COURSE...YOUR SISTER IS A BITCH. GOOD THING YOU HAVE ME!

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GET OFF YOUR ASS, CALL THE PLASTIC SURGEON, AND MAKE US AN APPOINTMENT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. YLM-67spread.png

GET OFF YOUR ASS, CALL THE PLASTIC SURGEON, AND MAKE US AN APPOINTMENT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

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ALL THE SMART ONES ARE SUPER BORING. YLM-69spread.png

ALL THE SMART ONES ARE SUPER BORING.

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THE BEAUTY SLEEP AIN'T GONNA CUT IT. IT'S TIME FOR BOTOX BIRTHDAY GIRL! YLM-71spread.png

THE BEAUTY SLEEP AIN'T GONNA CUT IT. IT'S TIME FOR BOTOX BIRTHDAY GIRL!

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BUT EVENTUALLY YOUR VAGINA WILL STILL DRY UP. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YLM-60spread.png

BUT EVENTUALLY YOUR VAGINA WILL STILL DRY UP. HAPPY BIRTHDAY

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WHEW, I FEEL BETTER NOW. THANKS FOR LISTENING. YLM-13spread.png

WHEW, I FEEL BETTER NOW. THANKS FOR LISTENING.

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IT'S CALLED "OLD BROAD WHO USED TO BE HOT." YLM-10spread.png

IT'S CALLED "OLD BROAD WHO USED TO BE HOT."

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WE COULD TOTALLY GET ON SHARK TANK! YLM-12spread.png

WE COULD TOTALLY GET ON SHARK TANK!

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I'LL TELL YOU WHERE I HID THE WINE OPENER. YLM-37spread.png

I'LL TELL YOU WHERE I HID THE WINE OPENER.

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I AM PRETTY SURE IT'S A DILDO. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YLM-17spread.png

I AM PRETTY SURE IT'S A DILDO. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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THE KID IN ME SAYS "BUY BUBBLES & CANDY." THE ADULT IN ME SAYS "BUY BUBBLES, CANDY & VODKA." YLM-05spread.png

THE KID IN ME SAYS "BUY BUBBLES & CANDY." THE ADULT IN ME SAYS "BUY BUBBLES, CANDY & VODKA."

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WHEN I TELL PEOPLE ABOUT MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS, THEY ALWAYS SAY, "BIG DEAL." YBBM-24spread.png

WHEN I TELL PEOPLE ABOUT MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS, THEY ALWAYS SAY, "BIG DEAL."

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VIAGRA AIN'T NO JOKE! YLM-35spread.png

VIAGRA AIN'T NO JOKE!

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AND BY STYLE I MEAN HUMOR. YLM-09spread.png

AND BY STYLE I MEAN HUMOR.

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NOW STOP BEING A CATTY BITCH AND CALL ME. YLM-15spread.png

NOW STOP BEING A CATTY BITCH AND CALL ME.

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40 AIN'T THE NEW 30, 50 AIN'T FABULOUS, AND BOTOX AIN'T CHEAP. YLM-29spread.png

40 AIN'T THE NEW 30, 50 AIN'T FABULOUS, AND BOTOX AIN'T CHEAP.

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YEP...XANAX JUST KICKED IN. I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY. I KNOW I WILL. YLM-30spread.png

YEP...XANAX JUST KICKED IN. I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY. I KNOW I WILL.

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WAS I SUPPOSED TO TAKE THE SLEEPING PILL FIRST AND THEN DRINK THE WINE? OR VICE VERSA? YLM-45spread.png

WAS I SUPPOSED TO TAKE THE SLEEPING PILL FIRST AND THEN DRINK THE WINE? OR VICE VERSA?

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ACTUALLY...IT WAS A BIG COCK. I RAN INTO YOUR HUSBAND. CALL ME. YLM-34spread.png

ACTUALLY...IT WAS A BIG COCK. I RAN INTO YOUR HUSBAND. CALL ME.

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SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL. YLM-36spread.png

SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL.

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NOW STOP POSTING STUPID SHIT ON FACEBOOK. YLM-57spread.png

NOW STOP POSTING STUPID SHIT ON FACEBOOK.

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IF I GAVE A SHIT ABOUT HIS TOUGH DAY AT THE OFFICE. YLM-31spread.png

IF I GAVE A SHIT ABOUT HIS TOUGH DAY AT THE OFFICE.

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TIME TO FIND ME A SUGAR DADDY. YLM-74spread.png

TIME TO FIND ME A SUGAR DADDY.

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I WAS HUNGRY YBBM-44spread.png

I WAS HUNGRY

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IN BRAILLE. YBBM-41spread.png

IN BRAILLE.

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NO REALLY...WHEN I SIT A CERTAIN WAY MY FAT ROLLS ACTUALLY ACHE. YBBM-43spread.png

NO REALLY...WHEN I SIT A CERTAIN WAY MY FAT ROLLS ACTUALLY ACHE.

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IT WAS ACCEPTABLE TO CHUG A WHOLE BOTTLE AND THEN PROJECTILE VOMIT ALL OVER YOUR ROOM. I MISS COLLEGE TOO. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YBBM-51spread.png

IT WAS ACCEPTABLE TO CHUG A WHOLE BOTTLE AND THEN PROJECTILE VOMIT ALL OVER YOUR ROOM. I MISS COLLEGE TOO. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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ABSOLUTELY! WE'RE COMPLETELY OUT OF ALCOHOL. YBBM-58spread.png

ABSOLUTELY! WE'RE COMPLETELY OUT OF ALCOHOL.

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JUST JOKING. KISS MY FLAT, PANCAKE SHAPED, DROOPY, DIMPLED, OLD LADY HINEY. YBBM-54spread.png

JUST JOKING. KISS MY FLAT, PANCAKE SHAPED, DROOPY, DIMPLED, OLD LADY HINEY.

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I WAS WRONG. SORRY. YBBM-56spread.png

I WAS WRONG. SORRY.

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I AM THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE QUEEFING IN YOGA CLASS. YBBM-25spread.png

I AM THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE QUEEFING IN YOGA CLASS.

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DON'T WORRY. NO ONE IS GOING TO NOTICE YOUR DOUBLE CHIN... NOW THAT YOUR BEARD IS GROWING IN. YBBM-22spread.png

DON'T WORRY. NO ONE IS GOING TO NOTICE YOUR DOUBLE CHIN... NOW THAT YOUR BEARD IS GROWING IN.

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BUT I'M ON THE RAG. YBBM-48spread.png

BUT I'M ON THE RAG.

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I'M DEFINITELY GONNA NEED A SHOT OF JAGERMEISTER IN MY COFFEE. YBBM-52spread.png

I'M DEFINITELY GONNA NEED A SHOT OF JAGERMEISTER IN MY COFFEE.

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THINKING BULIMIA MIGHT BE THE BETTER WAY TO GO THIS YEAR. I ALREADY HAVE THE BINGE PART DOWN. YBBM-39spread.png

THINKING BULIMIA MIGHT BE THE BETTER WAY TO GO THIS YEAR. I ALREADY HAVE THE BINGE PART DOWN.

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SHUT THAT FUCKIN' ADELE SONG OFF BEFORE I LOST MY SHIT. YBBM-38spread.png

SHUT THAT FUCKIN' ADELE SONG OFF BEFORE I LOST MY SHIT.

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HE'S A PLUBMBER YBBM-46spread.png

HE'S A PLUBMBER

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I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WOKE UP IN SOME DUDE'S CRIB TOPLESS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YBBM-06spread.png

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WOKE UP IN SOME DUDE'S CRIB TOPLESS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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YOU MIGHT WANNA STOP GETTING HIGH. YBBM-07spread.png

YOU MIGHT WANNA STOP GETTING HIGH.

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STOP EATING FIST FULLS OF M&MS AND GO ON A DIET. YBBM-62spread.png

STOP EATING FIST FULLS OF M&MS AND GO ON A DIET.

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SO DON'T EXPECT A COMMENT ABOUT YOUR SAGGING TITS, YOUR NEWLY SPROUTED GOATEE OR YOUR BAT WINGS IN THIS CARD. YBBM-66spread.png

SO DON'T EXPECT A COMMENT ABOUT YOUR SAGGING TITS, YOUR NEWLY SPROUTED GOATEE OR YOUR BAT WINGS IN THIS CARD.

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MAY I AXE YOU TO PLEASE STOP. THANX. YBBM-84spread.png

MAY I AXE YOU TO PLEASE STOP. THANX.

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I'M CONSIDERING RUFIE-ING MYSELF. YBBM-70spread.png

I'M CONSIDERING RUFIE-ING MYSELF.

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I WAS JUST PRIVATELY CELEBRATING YOUR BIRTHDAY. IT WAS AWESOME. YBBM-68spread.png

I WAS JUST PRIVATELY CELEBRATING YOUR BIRTHDAY. IT WAS AWESOME.

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I'M PLANNING ON HAVING MY FAVORITE DRINK. IT'S CALLED A LOT. YBBM-82spread.png

I'M PLANNING ON HAVING MY FAVORITE DRINK. IT'S CALLED A LOT.

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BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT AIN'T FOX. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YBBM-85spread.png

BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT AIN'T FOX. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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BUT LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE TO GET SUPER DRUNK WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. YBBM-18spread.png

BUT LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE TO GET SUPER DRUNK WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.

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YOU WOULD GET YOURSELF ON SOME MEDS. I KNOW CRAZY BITCH WHEN I SEE IT. YBM-01spread.png

YOU WOULD GET YOURSELF ON SOME MEDS. I KNOW CRAZY BITCH WHEN I SEE IT.

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BUT "WORST ASS EVER" IS ALREADY TAKEN. YBM-02spread.png

BUT "WORST ASS EVER" IS ALREADY TAKEN.

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NAMASTE BITCHES. YBM-03spread.png

NAMASTE BITCHES.

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DO YOU WANT TO BE BESTIES? YBM-04spread.png

DO YOU WANT TO BE BESTIES?

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IS GONNA GET IT'S ASS KICKED FOR TRYING. YBM-05spread.png

IS GONNA GET IT'S ASS KICKED FOR TRYING.

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DOES THIS HELMET MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG? YBM-06spread.png

DOES THIS HELMET MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG?

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UNTIL I DISCOVERED THIS MUCH MORE POWERFUL ALCOHOL INDUCED BLACK OUT. YBM-07spread.png

UNTIL I DISCOVERED THIS MUCH MORE POWERFUL ALCOHOL INDUCED BLACK OUT.

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RUN THEM THE FUCK OVER. YBM-08spread.png

RUN THEM THE FUCK OVER.

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